How Do We Find “Home”?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of home as I get ready to leave one and find another. That’s right, I’m moving!
What makes a place home? Geographically, energetically, emotionally speaking. And how does a house turn into a home? How do the people who make up a place figure into the concept of home? And does a place choose us as much as we choose the place? I love this idea expressed by storyteller & mythologist Martin Shaw.
The question seems to pull apart in layers that fold in on each other like some buttery bakery treat. What is home? How do we find it? Or do we make it? A few of us tossed around the notion of home as we sipped some cider and ate a warming dinner in front of the fire. That very experience created a feeling of home; friends, family, safety and comfort.
Someone noted that as they’ve traveled around the world certain places immediately feel like home and others just don’t. So we talked a while about that ethereal, energetic sense of a place, that feeling that we “get” when we arrive somewhere. Is it some past life remembering lodged deep in our being? We often can’t articulate why a place resonates or doesn’t but it seems there is always a “feeling”, an ahh, this feels like home, where something inside breathes a little sigh and relaxes just a bit. It’s like you and the place have some deep recognition of each other. But can that feeling of resonance, all by itself make a place home or is there more? Do we need more of the “layers” of home to sustain us in the long term? Is it that sense of resonance that calls us to stay somewhere initially but that could wear thin if other components of home are not fulfilled?
After you have found your spot on this blue dot we inhabit or maybe while we find it we encounter people and that energy helps us determine whether this is “our” place. One of the people sharing thoughts over dinner said “acceptance” was a feeling that made a place feel like home. Do you feel the unequivocal acceptance of your spirit by the people you meet? Does it feel friendly? Do you immediately click with people? Does your tribe live here? That definitely makes a body sigh into a comfort zone and experience a feeling of home.
The same person told a story he had heard where a person coming to a new place asks “what are the people like in this city?” A wise man replied, “what were the people like where you came from?” When he replied “lovely and pleasing.” He replied “you will find them much the same here” The story goes on to another person entering the city who says the people where he came from were unpleasant and hard to get along with. To which the wise man replies “you will find them much the same here.”
There’s a lot to unpack there but the short answer is that it’s all about perception. The Buddha said “with our minds we create our world” which is not a lot different from the idea expressed by quantum consciousness thinkers. Our energy, beliefs and thoughts create what we see and attract into our circle.
We could also talk about being accepted by the “land”. I have heard people talk about it and fully believe it. It’s just another expression of the belief that everything is alive and sacred. If you can like a place, can’t the place like you?
And when we talk about being accepted, who is the first and most important person to accept us? It is of course, ourselves. It will be easiest to find acceptance when we accept ourselves. And for most of us in the western world this is a journey along a continuum.
And of course there is the matter of awareness. If we are not aware when we choose a home all manner of difficulties can ensue. That awareness may be at an energetic or body level, not necessarily at a conscious level, where we feel our way towards home and an energetic alignment.
I think there was a consensus as we chatted that ultimately we “feel” our way toward home and it’s many layered components, that it’s not a matter of ticking of boxes on a list of material components, though some may use this as part of the process.
Because so many thought have been sparked on “home” I think I will leave the next instalment as a separate part; the part where we “create” home from a living space that we choose for ourselves or find ourselves in.
And to get us all aligned with “creating home” which fits so perfectly with this season where we spend more time indoors, I want to offer you 25% off selected works in my gallery shop. If a picture has a “buy” button it is on sale. Use the code HOME to apply the discount to your purchase. And if there are works with no button, please ask about them. Some are large and there is shipping to consider. And if you are a fellow Canadian, message me and let me help your sagging dollar 🙂
As I gather some things up and let go of others these are the thoughts about home that are washing through me. Please come join the conversation and share your thoughts on what makes a place home for you, how you find home and other ways that home is alive in your life.
Wishing you the many comforts of home as we take time to celebrate the many things that bring us comfort and joy.
Be Well
Carole
